Three Common Divorce Mistakes Men Make—And What to do Instead

It is no secret that men face uphill challenges in any divorce. Although Colorado, like other states, professes to treat men and women the same, unconscious bias and other stereotypes continue to subtly influence everyone in the divorce process.

At Bloch & Chapleau, we have distinguished ourselves as premiere men’s divorce attorneys, and we are committed to protecting your rights. Read on to identify what mistakes you should avoid during the divorce process.

Mistake #1: Not Keeping Proper Records

Divorces generate tremendous paperwork, to say nothing of the paperwork that was generated by your marriage. In order to protect your rights during and after marriage, you should keep detailed records of everything.

For example, if you decide to move out of the home, then make sure to have copies of the following before you leave:

• Joint financial bank accounts, including joint checking accounts and joint credit cards
• Any loan documentation for which you are legally responsible
• Insurance and retirement account information
• A copy of the deed to the house (if you own) or your rental agreement (if you rent)
• Records related to your children, such as birth certificates

You can obtain this documentation even after you leave, but it is probably easier to get them before you finally pack up and pull away.

During the divorce process, you also want to keep records of everything related to your case, such as:

• Communications between you and your soon-to-be ex
• Copies of all papers filed during the divorce
• Copies of any paperwork your spouse files through her lawyer
• Copies of any decisions made by the judge

Lastly, you must keep detailed records after the divorce that show you have always met your obligations as imposed by the judge:

• Copies of any child support payments made
• Proof of any spousal maintenance payments made
• Proof that you have made payment on debts, if the debts are in your ex’s name

Mistake #2: Messing Up Taxes

After years of filing as “married filing jointly,” you might have forgotten how to file as a single man again. Remember these tax filing tips:

• Your tax status is determined on the last day of the year. If you divorce in December 2018, then you file as single.
• Discuss with your ex who will claim the children as dependents on their taxes. If you are not the custodial parent, you will need your wife to fill out IRS Form 8332.
• Remember alimony. Currently, the spouse who pays alimony gets to deduct it from their taxes, while those who receive it must include it in their income. Thanks to the new tax law, these positions will reverse unless you have an alimony agreement in place before 2019.

If you become confused about how to handle taxes, you should consult with a tax professional.

Mistake #3: Failing to Disconnect from Your Ex

Many men find it difficult to move on after a divorce. Instead, they continue to check their ex’s Facebook page or Twitter feed and constantly ask common friends about how their ex-wives are doing. Continuing to maintain this type of connection to an ex is unhealthy and can damage your self-esteem.

Instead, focus on you. Many divorced men enjoy pursuing a hobby that they never had time for or joining a gym and working to improve themselves physically.

Of course, you can’t disconnect entirely if you have children together. You will still see each other at important school functions and whenever you need to hand the children off (or pick them up) for visitation. Nevertheless, remain as friendly and professional as possible.

Contact a Denver Divorce Attorney

Men have unique needs during divorce, of which not every divorce lawyer is aware. At Bloch & Chapleau, we advocate for men during the divorce process, and we are committed to bringing a sense of finality and empowerment to the divorce experience. To schedule your consultation, please contact us today.